Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!!!

Yesterday after work I went to watch a friend play softball on her work team. All the players were in my age group, some a few years younger and a couple were a good amount of years older. It was so much fun to watch, but at the same time, I felt a sorrow rise up in me. It looked like they were having so much fun, and hitting, catching, running seemed to be little effort for them all.

I remembered back to my days of playing sports and how much I loved it. I remember when I was in Jr. High and High School, I use to be excited all day and couldn't wait for the day to end so I could get to sports practice, whatever sport I happen to be playing that season. I can think back and remember so vividly how good I felt and how much fun I was having and I know I felt so alive. I want that feeling back so bad. As a 37 year old, I could still be playing. There were also beach volleyball courts at the ball field and again, many people in my age group playing beach volleyball. My favorite sport of all time is indoor volleyball, but I also like beach VB. I get so sad when I think about the fact that I have stolen that life away from myself.

I looked up on the computer to find out if there was an adult volleyball league in my area and infact, there is. I could be playing!!! I would totally love to go a few nights a week to play. I want that life back. I love to be active! I love to get all sweaty! I love to feel sore the next day, but you feel so invigorated as well.

So, last night while I watched the game, it just reaffirmed for me how important it is for me to do this. It reaffirmed how important it is for me to take my life back and get back to doing what I love.....Being active!

I am already working hard, but I know for me, being successful is all about staying motivated. So many people put so much emphasis on the actual "diet". Although this is very important to be mindful and aware of what you are eating and the quantities you are eating, it is equally important, if not more so, so really get connected to yourself emotionally and find out what drives you to eat, but more importantly, what drives you to want to be healthy and lose weight to begin with. Make a daily reminder of this for yourself. Renewing your motivation is so important to do everyday because everyday you are faced with challenges and you are faced with tough decision making, but if you are clear on why you want to lose weight, and keep reminding yourself of this, you will be able to develop a strong motivation to lose weight and work hard to stick to a healthy way of life.

If is so important and yesterday was another life affirming reason of why I am working so hard to accomplish my 150 pound weight loss. But the other thing is, I am not totally focused on the 150 pounds because that can become overwhelming and I will start to feel "normal" again way before I lose the 150. Right now I am looking to lose 25 pounds. That will put me back into the 200's. Then from there, I am looking to lose another 25. That will put me at a weight that I remember so vividly what it feels like. I will then be at 265. I don't know why that weight stands out in my head, but I remember being 285 and getting down to 265. I felt so renewed, light and healthy. I was beginning to get active again and I was beginning to feel like a "normal" size. But I don't know what happened. Somehow I lost it and ended up gaining back the weight. So, right now that is the weight I am ultimately focused on. When I get there, I will refocus on a new goal.

I can barely remember what I felt like when I was 145. I know I was playing a lot of sports and very athletic and I know that I felt good playing sports, but I wish I could really remember what that felt like. But I will soon because by this time next year, I am hoping that I can be close. I don't know that I will ever be 145 again, but that is ok. As long as I can get to the 100's, I will worry about my finally goal from there!!

It is so exciting to think that in a year, my whole life could be so different than what it is today. I could be a totally different person being able to engage in totally different activities and having a totally different confidence level. I can't wait!! It feels so good I can taste it!!! That reminds me of something my weight watcher leader use to say, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." She is so right!!!!