Amazing what a little extra effort does!!!

I use a website called Mint.com to balance my budget as I believe I have mentioned before. I love it because it's so visual and I am such a visual person. I love that I can see a pie chart of all my spending and can drill down to smaller categories. I just really love it.

so, I was looking at this today and comparing the category "food" from January to Now. It was so great to see that every month, the pie chart change and have the "groceries" piece of the pie grow bigger while the fast food and restaurants piece of the pie grow smaller each month. And then I got thinking about the last time I ate fast food and I couldn't remember. I had Sbarro a few weeks ago, but that isn't exactly fast food, although it isn't necessarily the healthiest choice. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I ate at McDonald's, which is my favorite fast food. I have no trouble staying away from all the others. But according to my Mint.com budget, the last time I had McDonald's was February 22nd. Well, all that tells me is that was the last time I ate there and paid on my debit card. But I rarely carry cash, so that probably was the last time I ate there. And I got feeling so good about that. What an accomplishment because not only have I not eaten McDonalds or any other fast food since that time, I am not even craving it or obsessing over it at all!

I pass by 2 McDonalds and about 5 other fast food chains on the way home and so many times I would leave work feeling so hungry.....ravenous is more like it, and all I could think about was stopping at McDonalds to stop and get my fix! Then I would eat it in the car and still eat dinner when I got home and I wasn't even necessarily eating something healthy when I got home so it was a double whammy. I use to feel so tired and sluggish after eating that crap and I never had the energy to do anything in then evening when I got home except lay on the couch, watch TV and many nights fall asleep there. I would wake up around 10 or so, drag myself into bed, sleep lousy and many nights I would have bad heartburn or acid reflux in my sleep.

Now, I just want to clarify though that I did not stop at McDonalds every night for weeks on end. It was something I would do here and there and I would go through periods of stopping 2 or 3 times a week for 2 weeks, then I work hard not to stop there for food for a couple of weeks straight and then I would breakdown and begin to stop again for food and the cycle continued. But I have to say that not only has it been 6 weeks since I have pick up McDonalds or any other fast food, I haven't even had the compulsion to do so.

So often as I would be driving and knew McDonalds was coming up ahead, I would have this internal fight with myself. But it was torture to drive past it. Every night was a fight and not only did I have to get through it once, I had to go through it again as I passed the 2nd McDonalds. But it's funny how you really can change your mindset. Ultimately, we are really the one's who are in control of our thinking and our actions because I just realized yesterday that not only have I been successful at not eating there, I realized yesterday that I don't even think about McDonalds and don't even notice when I pass by it anymore. I can't remember the last time it was even on my radar and I can't remember the last time I had a struggle when passing it by. It's like I have completely forgotten it is there and that makes me feel so good and so successful.

I feel like my addiction is broken, but I know that I have to stay strong and willful because an addiction, if you are not watching steadfastly, can sneak back up on you. I am feeling so good now though, I can't imagine why I would ever return to that bad habit of eating.

But this last month has been so great. I really feel like I have formed some great new habits that are sticking and I have found a healthy eating plan that works so great for me. I don't feel like I am on a diet, I just feel like I am eating good healthy things that I enjoy. I don't feel deprived because if I want something bad enough, I allow myself to have it, because this is not about complete and total deprivation, but I use a lot more control now in the amount that I have.

For example, at home, I have a box of chocolate fudge cookies that I really enjoy. But I am not touching them because they are a treat for me for the weekend and I am only allowing myself to have 3 over the whole weekend. I am good with that. I don't know why, but somehow it works for me.

I do hope one day to be able to be in control enough to enjoy McDonald's from time to time, because even though it's not the healthiest food, it is YUMMY! And anyone who follows my blog knows that I totally enjoy the YUM YUM!! But I would like to be able to have a burger and fries once every couple of months and be ok and in control about it. But right now, I am too afraid that the taste of it will send me into a tailspin and find that I am addicted again. Maybe I will never be able to have it again, only time will tell.

But either way, I can't go back to my old habits. It was making my life too unhappy and even though I still have a ton of weight to lose, the burden seems lifted a bit because I am on my way to a healthier, thinner life. I feel good now and I know that I can work hard over this next year to lose the majority of my weight. And now that my Achilles Tendon is fixed and the nice weather is here, I am going to get out and be active! And the best part is, today my co-worker, who had been out on vacation for a week, came back to work today and as I was standing in the door of her office, she told me I looked like I had lost a little weight. So, my advice to anyone trying to lose weight and failing......Just work as hard as you can to be really good and work hard the first 4 weeks. I have found that the first 4 weeks are the hardest, but if you can get through those first weeks, you will be well on your way because by then, there will be so many positive things happening to keep you motivated. I have been staying motivated by keeping a positive attitude, by seeing the scale go down week after week, by putting on a pair of jeans that didn't fit, but now do and so many other things, but now someone else noticed my success and let me know. That is a whole different kind of motivation, stronger than any type of motivation I can give to myself.

She made my day and now I want to work even harder so I can lose more and hear that from more and more people. It's truly amazing what a little extra effort does! And most of all, it's amazing all the magic that starts to happen when you believe in yourself and tell yourself that YOU CAN DO IT!!!

You can't try to do things; you simply must do them.
-Ray Bradbury