Seeing this is extremely discouraging. I just don't know what to do anymore. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." ~ Albert Einstein.
Well, this is exactly how I feel. I am eating right and exercising and I am not seeing results. So, what do I do? The only thing that is keeping me a little sane is that when I got my measurements taken at Curves, I had lost a total of 25" from when I began.
But, sadly, I did allow it to get to me. I had made a vow to spend every day at curves the two weeks before I left for Florida and make sure to eat really, really good. But I let frustration throw me off the wagon. I allowed myself license to eat. And boy, have I done a job at eating! It started last Thursday when going out with some friends for dinner and I had the garlic fillet with the butter mashed potatoes. The entire meal was drenched with butter. It was down hill from there. I ate all sorts of things from Friday to today, Tuesday. I started today off ok, but I missed lunch at work and ended up leaving a little bit early and I got Chik-Fil-a and the really sad part is, I didn't enjoy it all that much.
But sometime on Sunday, I started to feel really bad. And when I say bad, I mean bad physically and mentally. First off, I felt sluggish, I had a headache and felt really bloated. I was even a little sick to my stomach from everything I ate. I had that thing where my stomach feels so full and bloated, my breathing isn't even right. On top of that, mentally, I got into a very bad place. I felt angry and depressed and just felt really, really bad inside. I hate when I feel that way because it makes me want to eat even more. Then I get more depressed. It's just not a good place to be. Now, it's Tuesday and I haven't even gone to curves. I haven't been there since last Wednesday. It's really bad!
What am I going to do?? I just can't go on like this and sometimes I just feel like I totally want to let go. I feel so much despair and I am so frustrated!! I just want my life back, but I can't seem to get it back.
Sometimes I wish that I could be put away for a year. I would love to leave society and be locked up for a whole year and then come back thin and in control. Last night I was so down. I felt so sad. I felt out of control.
I have to find a way to change. I have to find a way to get my life back because emotionally I know I can't go on this and physically I know I can't either. I mean, I will die if I don't stop. Why can't I get my act together?
I have been trying to do this on my own, but I think I might need some help.
- Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.~ Dale Carnegie
