Challenges and Excuses!

I haven't written in a few days, something I would like to avoid in the future, as writing is very cathartic for me.

On Friday, January 29th, I found my cat in a seemly distressed situation. Her breathing was labored and she looked dazed and seemed like at some point during the day, she had some kind of bloody discharge from her nose. Long story short, I ended up having to put her down as the vet said she was in congestive heart failure.

Well, knowing that I am an emotional eater, I should have prepared myself, but my grief got the best of me. To top this off, when we left the Vet Friday night, it had stated snowing, a long awaited and predicted snow store that we were getting hit with here in the South. Well, on Saturday, between my sadness and the storm, I went out to the store and bought lot's of junk food. Ice Cream, donuts, pizza rolls and God knows what else. I felt sick by the end of the night. Then, Sunday, I went out and bought more. I ate much of it yesterday, but I do still have food left over today.

So, then I ask myself, Since I can't fix what I did Saturday and Sunday, regardless of the fact that I still have food left, am I going to get back on track today, stop making excuses and just get back on the wagon? How will I overcome all the food that I still have in the house.

My goal was to lose 3.5 pounds per week. Well, last week was my second weight in and I totally blew it. I stayed the same.......Now, this weekend, I was REALLY REALLY bad and I can't even imagine what the scale is going to read when I step on next Saturday. I know I can't let that deter me. I have to work even harder. I know it may not be 3.5 pounds, but if I pull it together today, maybe I can at least show some kind of loss.

It's all up to me. The power is in my hands and my hands alone. How much does this mean to me? How much do I want this.

Yesterday, I went to see Xanadu the musical and I was really concerned with fitting in the seat. Well, I worried for nothing because I fit totally fine. The seats were actually very comfortable. But, I still felt self conscience cause the friend I went with is more on the thinner side and I felt like my leg was spilling over to her seat a little. I know my leg was touching her's and I was a little embarrassed about that.

But the way I feel after an experience like that should be just want I need to keep my butt motivated to eat right and exercise.

I know I have to find my motivation from within. I go back to that quote I was sent from a friend regarding will power. It basically states, that it's not whether or not you have will power, but rather how strong your will to WANT TO CHANGE!

I DO WANT TO CHANGE. I want the life back that I gave up. I also know that I need to get my visual motivation back......My vision board. Since I moved, I haven't used it. Also, I use to have my weight loss board. It was a piece of foam board and I created a roadmap on it, it was all the days of the month and each day I have a nice stamp that says, "You Did It" when I made it through the day successfully and when I didn't, I used a big black X!!

I need to begin using tools like that to keep me mentally motivated.
I am 100% convinced that the most important factor in being successful in weigh loss is your attitude. If your mindset is not in the right place, you won't make the right choices. I don't think enough weight loss center focus enough on keeping a positive, motivated attitude. I need to make sure to keep mine in check!!